Tom u will love these........
1. If you post and pretend to be a fool, people will believe that you are a
Corollary: If you then post and explain that you were only pretending, nobody
will change their mind.
2. The Net-Nature is very simple. Usenet is *not* dominated by the smartest
people, the most interesting people, or the most learned people. It is
dominated by the people who want to tell other people their opinions. To expect
anything else is absurd.
3. Similarly, the topics that dominate any given newsgroup are not the most
interesting, the most helpful, or the most useful. They're the most acrimonious
and the most dissent-laden. How else could things possibly turn out?
4. A person who says, "Sorry, I had to point that out to you" is always telling
two lies. Ditto for "Sorry, I couldn't pass this up." "I see your point
but...." means the opposite.
5. When a fool posts deliberate flamebait, he has no influence over whether
he/she succeeds. You do.
6. It is easy to patronize the author of the post in which you agree. It is
equally as easy for the author to patronize you back. This can go on for weeks
Corollary: You will look clever to the people who already agree with you and
like a fool to the rest of us.
Second Corollary: If you post to a newsgroup to which you are new and a
prominent personage patronizes you, that can also go on for weeks on end.
7. If you feel you know something funny or clever or wise, you may decide to
post it here. Please keep in mind, you are the 4,000th person to do so.
8. If you hate something, there is a newsgroup where people are discussing it.
Abortion, recovery, Republicans, eating meat, tattooing, worship, bondage,
whatever. You will be tempted to appear on that newsgroup and point out to
everyone the error of their ways. Please keep in mind that you are the 4,000th
person to do so.
9. If something is particularly funny, clever, or wise, then you will be the
4,000th person *this month.*
10. The exclamation point "!" is a sentence tag which denotes emphasis. The
double exclamation point "!!" is a sentence tag which denotes the writer is a
self-centered fool who think his/her concerns are more important than anyone
else. The triple "!!!" is an exageration of the double. Four or more exclamation
points indicate sexual inadequacy.
11. You, personally, are a unique, exciting, vibrant, intelligent, wise, and
self effacing individual with a great deal to contribute to the newsgroups you
select on the Net. So is every other schmuck who posts. Get over it.
12. The demise of this newsgroup and the Net is imminent--and always will
13. It's not a super-highway. It's not a fishnet. It's not a surfable ocean, a
maze, a 3 dimensional space of lights, a city or a game. It's not a cocktail
party an argument or a home. It *is*, what it *is*. You will never prove
yourself "cool" or an "insider" by using the "hip" metaphors or slogans of your
group to try to control or impress other people. This interlinked computer
system of the world doesn't need names, judgments, explanations, or
justification---it just *is*. The playing field is level and if you don't like
it, you must not be used to equality.
14. Internet gurus on a specific topic are a dime a dozen. It is the people who
don't know much who are rare.